


Step into the light (remember me here)

by SerotoninUp



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Accidental Death, Angst, Chloe goes to Heaven, F/M, Feels, It's just not happy for Lucifer, Or for them as a couple, Post-Season/Series 04, So I guess it's a partially-happy ending, Unhappy Ending, vehicular manslaughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22511587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerotoninUp/pseuds/SerotoninUp
Summary: Upon his return to Hell, the Devil asks the Angel of Death to notify him when the Detective’s life on Earth comes to an end.After centuries have passed in Hell, Azrael comes with a message: Chloe Decker is going to die today.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 37
Kudos: 149





	Step into the light (remember me here)

**Author's Note:**

> You ever write something just to see if you can break your own heart? Yeah, that’s what this is. Enjoy!
> 
> Title taken from the lyrics to “Walk Through the Fire” by Klergy and BELLSAINT.

The Devil is meandering through the loop corridors in a rare moment of contemplative solitude when the demon appears before him.

Irritation flares in Lucifer's eyes; he’d given explicit orders that he should not be disturbed until he returned to his throne. The demon squeaks an apology, prostrating itself before him.

”To what do I owe this ill-advised interruption?” Lucifer sighs.

”There is an angel at the gates, my lord,” the demon hisses.

A chill ripples down Lucifer's spine. “Which angel?” he demands, already shrugging his wings into existence. The demon winces at the expanse of white, the feathers glowing softly with divine light.

”Azrael, my lord. The Angel of Death.”

But the demon finds itself alone in the passage; the King of Hell had vanished before it could finish speaking.

***

Lucifer touches down in front of the gates and turns to the slight figure standing there. The Angel of Death gives him a sad smile.

”Hey, Luce.”

”Already?” Lucifer asks, and Azrael catches the slight tremor in his voice. She reaches out and gently touches his shoulder, an awkward attempt at comfort. Getting all touchy-feely isn’t a good habit in her line of work, but this is her favorite brother, and he’s hurting.

Her wings unfurl, dark and nebulous as shadows, and she plucks a small, smoky feather from one of them. She gestures to Lucifer, and he takes it with a questioning glance.

"It'll make you invisible, like me," Azrael explains. "Sort of incorporeal, too. Keep it in your pocket - don't lose it."

He gives her a _don't-patronize-me_ eye roll, but carefully tucks the feather away as instructed.

”Let’s go,” she says. “It’s happening soon.”

He nods assent, and then, for the first time in centuries, the Devil leaves Hell.

***

It’s a beautiful, sunny day in LA.

The Devil and the Angel of Death land in the center of a busy intersection. A deluge of sounds and colors and scents assaults Lucifer’s senses - horns honking, people laughing and shouting, lights flashing, the smell of gasoline (and, somewhere close by, a taco truck). Lucifer winces as a passing woman's purse swings _through_ his body, and he instinctively folds away his wings and moves toward the side of the road.

Azrael catches his wrist. “Stay,” she says. “It’s almost time.”

He doesn’t hear her, because he’s just laid eyes on the Detective, and the entire universe shrinks down to a single point of focus: Chloe, real and alive before him, walking down the sidewalk.

She’s on the phone, smiling and laughing and talking animatedly. A plastic bag emblazoned with a deli logo swings from her hand. Her golden hair catches the sunlight; she blazes like a star.

She’s still so young. _Too_ young. He tears his eyes away from her and whirls around to find Azrael’s intense gaze, as if she’s heard his thoughts and is mentally bracing for his fury.

”How long?” he demands. This can’t be right. Chloe looks almost the same as she did the day he left. She’s supposed to live a long and happy life and die peacefully of old age, surrounded by people who love her. She deserves a good death, and everything he sees right now indicates that the exact opposite is about to happen.

”You returned to Hell almost three years ago,” Azrael answers. At her brother's incredulous expression, she gestures helplessly. "I don't make the rules, Luce. I have no control over this. I'm just here to guide her after - you know, after."

Lucifer can't even speak. He turns back to the Detective, his vision blurring, and he dashes his hand against his eyes to wipe them dry. Chloe is entering the crosswalk, coming straight at him, still holding the phone to her ear, and he's so intent on drinking in every detail of her - the bright blue of her eyes, the curve of her lips as she smiles - and she's so engrossed in her phone call that neither of them see the car.

The sound of two tons of speeding metal slamming into 120 pounds of delicate flesh and bone is indescribable.

The _feeling_ of it as it tears through both his incorporeal form and Chloe's ethereal spirit is sickening.

The phone hits the ground and shatters. Chloe flips up and over, slamming into the roof of the car, too fast for Lucifer's eyes to follow. The driver hits the brakes - too late, _much_ too late - and the Detective is thrown to the ground, where she lays limp and immobile.

People are screaming, running towards them - someone nearby is already on the phone to the police, he can hear the 911 operator's calm voice - and a crowd of people gathers around Chloe, hiding her from view. The driver of the car stumbles out of her vehicle; she's sobbing incoherently, saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh God" over and over, and Lucifer knows he'll be seeing her again. The thought fills him with grim satisfaction.

He slips easily through the throng - literally, thanks to Azrael's feather in his pocket - and finds his sister kneeling beside the Detective. Nausea swells in his gut. There's so much blood, and the shape of the Detective's torso is just _wrong_ \- the ribs and hips twisted and crushed. He hears someone vomiting nearby, and he can't blame them one bit even as he thinks, _Don't contaminate the crime scene, you idiot!_ The thought is his, but his mind delivers it in Chloe's authoritative, no-nonsense detective voice. His heart cracks, and grief tears through him, taking him apart in an instant.

He kneels across from Azrael, on Chloe's other side, letting his tears flow freely. Her eyes are closed. Her breathing is too slow, too shallow. He hears the sirens in the distance and knows that any attempt at saving her life is futile.

Instinctively, he reaches for her hand, and stares numbly as his fingers pass right through her.

"Just wait," Azrael murmurs. "She's almost here."

"Almost - what?" Lucifer stutters.

The Angel of Death lifts her hand, and the world around them slowly fades away.

***

They sit in total darkness, a black so solid and impenetrable it brings to mind what the universe looked like before he created the stars, and he shudders at the sudden reminder of such vast, unending _nothingness_. 

"It's okay," Azrael says gently, somewhere close by on his left. "This is my realm."

He closes his eyes; there's no difference between the darkness of Death's realm and the darkness behind his eyelids. He opens his eyes again. "Your realm is a horrible sensory deprivation chamber," Lucifer mutters.

"Shhh," Azrael scolds. "Watch."

A small dot of light forms in front of Lucifer; in its glow, he can finally make out Azrael's face, an overwhelmingly comforting sight after all the oppressive darkness. The light slowly grows, forming a bright little globe, something Lucifer could easily cup with one hand. It throws little rainbows of refracted light around itself, and then it begins to spin erratically; he would almost say it was looking for something, the way it turns and twists -

"Wait," he breathes, stunned. "Is that her?"

"Her soul," Azrael nods. Her eyes are solemn, reflecting the soul-light. "The rainbows are new. Haven't seen that before."

"Miracle," Lucifer murmurs. His breath hitches; the Detective's soul is just as beautiful and unique as the woman herself, so perfect it hurts. He stretches out his hand unthinkingly.

"No!" Azrael says sharply, and he flinches, dropping his hand. "Sorry," she continues. "It's just - if you touch it, the soul is going to feel whatever it is you're feeling at the moment. I've got the whole _hey-you're-dead-but-it's-okay_ aura down by now, but I imagine whatever you're feeling might not be the best thing to throw at her."

Lucifer stares at her with an expression of utter horror. "'Hey, you're dead, but it's okay'?" he repeats. "That's not good enough, Azrael! Not for her!"

Azrael contemplates him for a long moment. "Okay," she sighs, and gestures helplessly at the orb of light. "Go ahead."

Lucifer looks at the Detective's soul and swallows against the growing lump in his throat. _I love you_ , he thinks. _I love you so much. You're perfect. You're an amazing mother, partner, friend, person. You did so well, Chloe. I'm so proud of you._

Holding those feelings fast in his heart, he reaches out and takes Chloe's soul into his hands.

It flutters like a trapped moth, like a frightened bird, weighing nothing at all, and at first touch he feels the panic and confusion coming off of it - feels _Chloe's_ panic and confusion - and his heart nearly breaks for her. But he doesn't want her to feel that - _can't_ let her feel that - so he tamps down his pain and heartache, and instead pushes all of his love and admiration and pride at the frantic little light.

It - _she_ \- calms immediately, and then sits there in his palm, perfectly still. Lucifer breathes out a sigh of relief, and only then notices the wetness streaking his cheeks again. He quickly scrubs his free hand against his eyes; he doesn't want the Detective to feel this. He glances away from Chloe's soul and catches Azrael's gaze; his sister is smiling, almost beaming with pride.

"That's great, Luce," she says, and he realizes there are tear stains on her face, too. She holds out her hand, gesturing for Chloe's soul, but Lucifer hesitates.

"I've got her," he says.

"I know you do. I have to weigh her, though."

He frowns; the little soul in his hand flutters again, and he closes both hands over it, soothing it, keeping it safe. "Weigh her?"

"To determine whether she goes to Heaven or Hell," Azrael explains, and before Lucifer can even open his mouth for a furious retort, "Luce, remember she can feel you. Don't scare her."

He bites back his protests, but doesn't hand over Chloe's soul. "She's going to Heaven," he says, his tone level, his eyes fire.

"I don't doubt it," Azrael agrees, "But she can't go until I do this."

He stares at her a moment longer, then sighs. _I love you_ , he thinks at the little orb, and then he carefully places it into Azrael's outstretched hand.

Azrael closes her eyes. Lucifer holds his breath. A moment that feels like an eternity passes. Then another. Azrael opens her eyes and smiles. Lucifer breathes again.

"Now what?" he asks.

Azrael stands, still holding fast to Chloe's soul. "Now we go to Heaven," she says. She looks at her brother, her expression uncertain. "I'm not sure if you -"

"I'm going with you," he interrupts, jumping to his feet. He glares at her, throwing out clear _try and stop me_ vibes.

"They won't let you past the gates," Azrael reminds him.

His mouth is set in a thin line of determination. "Then I'll go up to the gates, and no further. But I _will_ go."

She nods. "Then let's go."

***

The gates of Heaven are just as he remembers: huge and gold, cold and unbreakable. The sight of them sends a bolt of fear, and shame, and pure, righteous fury through his very soul; his fists clench, and his eyes burn.

"Luce," Azrael reminds him, not without sympathy, "You're not here for vengeance. Or to relive old memories." She lifts her hand; Chloe's soul rests easily in her palm. "Remember?"

He nods, his throat constricted, but his hands are gentle when he takes Chloe's soul from her. Here, in the presence of Heaven, the little soul gives off a comfortable warmth; she knows where she is, knows she's close to being reunited with her father, with friends and family long-gone from Earth. "What do I do?"

"Let go."

He swallows roughly; letting go is easier said than done. But he does it, lifting the glowing orb into the air in front of him, sending out one more tender _I love you_ , and then carefully lowering his hand.

The soul hovers for a moment, trembling and turning, and then suddenly it blazes, its light searing; he shields his eyes with his arm, crying out against the overwhelming brightness.

Then there's a familiar scent in the air, and a hand on his wrist.

"Lucifer," Chloe says.

She's in his arms before he can even look at her properly; he reaches out and pulls her against him, pulls her unbearably close, as though if he just holds her tight enough, he could merge their souls together and then never, _ever_ be without her again. Her hair caresses his face and her arms wrap around his neck, and her laughter rings in his ear and he could die, he could die happily _right now_ as long as this was the last thing he felt.

" _Chloe_." His voice shudders, his mouth buried in the crook of her neck, impossibly warm beneath his lips. There are tears running down his face and rolling across her bare skin but he doesn't care, he doesn't _care_ , she's here and _real_ and in his arms and he's never going to let go, not _ever_ , no matter what.

She leans back to look at him, and her smile is as radiant as the stars.

"Hey," she says brightly. "I missed you."

He laughs at that, even as fresh tears well up in his eyes. "I'm so sorry," he breathes hoarsely, burying his face in her shoulder again. "I should _never_ have left you, Chloe, I'm so _sorry_ -"

"Hey, none of that." She swats at him impatiently. "It's okay, Lucifer. You did what you had to do. Yeah, it hurt, and for a while I was angry, but I understand. I don't hold it against you."

He can't believe her; how can she not be furious at him for abandoning her? How can she stand here and smile at him, tell him everything is okay when it is the furthest from okay it has ever been? He walked away from their one chance to actually be together, and now he's about to lose her forever - to _Heaven_ , the place he hates more than any other place in existence, the one place where he cannot follow.

" _Hey_." She pulls away again, cups his face in her hands, forcing him to look into her eyes and acknowledge the truth shining in her gaze. "You're not listening to me. _I forgive you_ , Lucifer."

He closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. She really means it, he realizes. She doesn't hate him for leaving. She isn't angry anymore. She isn't hurt anymore.

She forgives him. Him. The _Devil_. This woman, this singular, miraculous human, somehow managed to do something not even God himself was capable of doing.

"You," he whispers, "are the most amazing thing in the entire universe."

She pulls him close again, resting her forehead against his own. "I love you too, by the way," she says softly. His stomach lurches and his heart thumps painfully. She lays a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Thanks for being there when I - when it happened."

His hold on her tightens. "It shouldn't have happened like that. You deserve so much better."

She shrugs. "It was unexpected, that's for sure. But Azrael and I talked it out."

The Angel of Death just smiles, still standing beside her big brother; Lucifer had honestly forgotten she was there.

"You... talked?" he asks, confused. "But -"

"When I weighed her soul," Azrael chimes in. "We had a nice, long chat." She scoffs at Lucifer's quizzical expression. "You guys think Amenadiel has a monopoly on time? You have no idea how many people die every second of every day, and I'm there for _all_ of them. Amenadiel has nothing on me when it comes to time manipulation. So yeah, Chloe and I had a pretty long Q&A session."

"She helped address a lot of my concerns," Chloe explains. "Like, I know Trixie is going to be okay without me." She looses a shaky sigh of relief, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Which was my only real worry, honestly. Well, that, and..." She trails off, suddenly subdued.

"And what?" Lucifer asks, apprehension coiling in his belly.

"And you," she says.

"Right." Lucifer's heart sinks.

She shivers in his arms. "You can't come with me, can you?"

He can't lie to her, no matter how much he doesn't want to hurt her again. "No," he whispers.

The tears in her eyes finally fall, rolling silently down her cheeks. He kisses them away gently, one by one, and then her lips find his and she kisses him deeply, twining her fingers in his hair, pressing her body as close to his as possible. He returns the kiss ardently, his mouth moving against hers with sweet desperation, until the taste of his own tears mingles with hers against his tongue.

"I'll miss you," she whispers, her breath soft against his lips.

"And I you, Chloe." He takes a ragged breath. "Will you promise me something?"

"Anything."

He cradles her face in his hands, sweeping his thumbs along her cheekbones, drinking in the sight of her like he's trying to memorize every inch of her. "Don't forget me."

Her grip on his curls tightens; her expression is fierce. "I could _never_ ," she swears. "I'll think of you every day."

He clings to her for a moment longer, then forces himself to let go. She has people waiting for her, a place of happiness in Heaven; he can't keep her away from it any longer. Azrael holds out her hand, and Chloe takes it, her eyes never leaving Lucifer's.

"I love you," he says, one last time.

"I love you," she says, and he takes this memory, her soft words and the conviction in her voice and her beautiful face, and tucks it deep in his heart, where he knows he'll never forget it, where he can keep it safe and draw strength from it whenever he needs it. Whenever he needs _her_.

The gates open, and he watches his heart cross the threshold into Heaven.

***

When the Devil returns to Hell, he asks the Angel of Death to notify him when Beatrice Espinoza's life comes to an end.

**Author's Note:**

> Things got a little rough for me towards the end there, so I didn't proofread that part very well; if you notice something off, feel free to point it out. 
> 
> I'm thinking of maybe doing a companion piece one-shot for this fic about the conversation between Azrael and Chloe. I think it could be fun, and a little more lighthearted than this turned out to be. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
